How many times do we get an idea in our heads of how things should be, and then what happens is nothing like we had pictured? Usually when we first see how things are unfolding, we feel this disappointment and regret that we are not getting what we had originally wanted.
But just because things are different than we had envisioned, it doesn't mean that it is worse. I have found that many times things seem bad or confusing at first, but in the end turn out better than we had hoped. So before we get upset, wait...God is probably just in the process of setting up something better.
I do still wish BYU had won their first football game, however.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
A Summer Review
Like I said before, it's really been a great summer. Here's some proof:
Ward Service Activity - yay for free shirts!
Relief Society Activities - in which we made homemade ice cream that was delicious
Girls' Night - Pizza Night!
Pranked! But I'm pretty sure this got me out of a speeding ticket.
Ward Campout - at which I perfected my potato chopping skills and dominated at Egyptians Ratscrew
Four wheeling with family - it was a little dusty.
A definite highlight was getting these lovely ladies back!
My dear Chilean friends came to town!
Sound Boothing it up for VPLCT. Because when we do things, we make it legit.
Ward Activity at Mona Lake:
THIS came in the mail:
D-RAG was formed. (I have never laughed harder than I did playing "Farkle")
Sunday Stroll at Bridal Veil Falls - We got a little more wet than we planned.
Stacy on drugs. Ok, this wasn't exactly a highlight, but it's given me some stories to tell.
Many nights at Sonic:
Weekend at my house! Boating, Four wheeling, wearing matching shirts, and having a nerf war while rocking out to N*SYNC. It doesn't get better than that.
Graduation Buddies! Look at us, all mature and stuff.
And this is just the stuff I have pictures of. It doesn't include game nights, FHE campfires and windsurfing, weddings, karaoke nights, BBQs, outrageous group text conversations, movie nights, birthday parties...just so much fun stuff happening around here!
This Bumpy Road
Well, I got a job and now it's back to school for me. Before I was ready, my summer came to an end. I can't help but sit here and think about what all I have experienced over the past 4 months. It has definitely been a bumpy ride with some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. I have been so bad at updating my blog because as of late I have noticed that my best moments to my days have usually been too personal to post on a blog.
Life is so good. I have so many blessings and I have had a lot of fun with some of the best people this summer. But, there is opposition to all things and so, as great as this summer has been, it has also been in some ways just as horrible. Relationships gone wrong, stress over life decisions, best friends in far away places, (still) undiagnosed health problems, a dream vacation tainted by sickness, my inability to face confrontation, and a constant search for answers and direction. I realize that my health problems are not near as bad as some and I know that life could be so much worse, but God knows what trials we need and can handle and these are mine; the ones that push me to my limit.
I was staying up late chatting with my roommate the other night. (We tend to do that a lot - talk late into the night because neither of us really want to go to bed without getting some sort of an answer to life's big questions. We definitely have fallen asleep on our floor still seeking answers that have yet to come.) As we lounged on our awesome couches, we were marveling at how life had gone from being so great to suddenly so crazy for all of us all at the same time. Why so much all at once? I read a quote yesterday (that made us laugh because of how much it rang true with us) that kind of answered that question. It's from a general conference talk by Elder Scott called "Trust in the Lord":
"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more."
Obviously I am not perfect, but I don't feel like my current trials are negative consequences to any bad decisions on my part. For example, I'm not sick because I have been abusing my body with drugs or alcohol or anything. (It might be partially because of my inability to handle stress in a healthy way, but that's not entirely my fault). It's just a trial I am facing as part of my life's test. I agree with Elder Scott, that the Lord has to push us to stretch and reach our potential. And you know what? In a weird way I feel honored that the Lord sees me as someone ready and able to grow more. Do I dare say these trials have been a blessing?
I guess that's what I have been reflecting on and what I wanted to write this post about because I have come to the conclusion that: Yes, these trials have been a blessing in my life. They have sucked. Really, really sucked and I don't want to live them again, but I wouldn't wish that they had never happened either. I feel like I am a way better person than I was at the beginning of this summer. Here's just some of the things I have been learning:
I sometimes wish that I could just skip ahead a year and know my future right now. Wouldn't that be great? No more questions. It sure would make patience easy. But, if I wasn't walking in the dark right now, than I would not have the opportunity to rely on God each step of the way and develop faith, patience, and whatever other attributes the Lord is currently pushing me to acquire. I don't currently understand everything but it's ok. I believe what Elder Scott said:
"If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit and for that of those you love."
The end of the summer has not marked the end of my trials nor does it mean that I am now all knowing. No way. I am still in the middle of some of them and I am sure that there are many more to come because that's life. I still have so much to learn. And I think God has realized that and that is why He has sped up the learning process for me these past few months. I don't want to be prideful and say: "Bring it!" I'm not yet that great that I want to pray for more trials, but I will say "thanks" for the ground I have already gained on this bumpy road.
Life is so good. I have so many blessings and I have had a lot of fun with some of the best people this summer. But, there is opposition to all things and so, as great as this summer has been, it has also been in some ways just as horrible. Relationships gone wrong, stress over life decisions, best friends in far away places, (still) undiagnosed health problems, a dream vacation tainted by sickness, my inability to face confrontation, and a constant search for answers and direction. I realize that my health problems are not near as bad as some and I know that life could be so much worse, but God knows what trials we need and can handle and these are mine; the ones that push me to my limit.
I was staying up late chatting with my roommate the other night. (We tend to do that a lot - talk late into the night because neither of us really want to go to bed without getting some sort of an answer to life's big questions. We definitely have fallen asleep on our floor still seeking answers that have yet to come.) As we lounged on our awesome couches, we were marveling at how life had gone from being so great to suddenly so crazy for all of us all at the same time. Why so much all at once? I read a quote yesterday (that made us laugh because of how much it rang true with us) that kind of answered that question. It's from a general conference talk by Elder Scott called "Trust in the Lord":
"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more."
Obviously I am not perfect, but I don't feel like my current trials are negative consequences to any bad decisions on my part. For example, I'm not sick because I have been abusing my body with drugs or alcohol or anything. (It might be partially because of my inability to handle stress in a healthy way, but that's not entirely my fault). It's just a trial I am facing as part of my life's test. I agree with Elder Scott, that the Lord has to push us to stretch and reach our potential. And you know what? In a weird way I feel honored that the Lord sees me as someone ready and able to grow more. Do I dare say these trials have been a blessing?
I guess that's what I have been reflecting on and what I wanted to write this post about because I have come to the conclusion that: Yes, these trials have been a blessing in my life. They have sucked. Really, really sucked and I don't want to live them again, but I wouldn't wish that they had never happened either. I feel like I am a way better person than I was at the beginning of this summer. Here's just some of the things I have been learning:
- I have learned so much about myself and my reliance upon God. After being, in one way or another, abandoned by the people closest to me this summer, I found I had a lot of time with just me and the Big Man above. My prayers became real and long. I realized He was aware of me and cared about even my littlest problems.
- I have learned what it's like to not be healthy and now I can have empathy for those who are suffering also. For the first time I was sick and did not know what was wrong or when I would be better. It's kind of scary sometimes, but mostly it's just tiring. I also realized that I can survive an IV. It was horrible, but I did it - which if you know me, you know that's a big deal. And Bonus! I am 20 lbs lighter than I was a year ago at this time. Right on.
- I have learned to love and rely upon the Book of Mormon more than ever before this summer. I can say without a doubt that reading it brings clarity to my life, answers to my prayers, and a peace to my soul that I can't find anywhere else. When I was my sickest and far away from home, I would read the Book of Mormon when I couldn't sleep at night. It didn't heal my stomach, but it helped me calm down until I could finally sleep again. Not only does the Book of Mormon contain precious gospel truths, it also is a way to open yourself up to the Holy Ghost and personal revelation.
- I have learned how the Holy Ghost talks to me. I have learned to seek answers not only in the Book of Mormon, but also in general conference talks, my patriarchal blessing, at church, in the temple, and through the counsel of church leaders. God always answers our prayers, even if the answer for now is just "wait." In the meantime, He will bless you with feelings of peace that everything will eventually work out and give you the strength to endure.
- I have learned that especially when it comes to big questions, God uses more than one witness to give us direction and answers. He doesn't expect you to just feel one small impression once and that's it: "Hope you got that. Good luck!" No! If you feel an impression, it's ok to tell God what you are thinking and ask Him if that was right. He will confirm it many times if necessary, because he understands that we are living by faith and sometimes that's hard when doubts, fears, and opposition come.
- I have learned to trust more that all things are possible with The Lord. Sometimes we cannot see how things could possibly work out, but He will never ask us to do something without providing a way for it to be accomplished. That doesn't mean that we can just sit on our butts until the miracles happen. No, the prerequisite is that we are doing all we can to move forward, then He will fill in the rest.
- I have learned in a more real way how important service is. When we look outside ourselves, the inside takes care of itself. I am happiest when I am fulfilling my calling. It's a distraction from my own problems and I feel like I am blessed for it. The biggest blessing I have received from this is the friendships I have made that I otherwise would not have.
- I have learned how wonderful my friends are. I rarely had a night in, despite how "free" my summer was. Whether we just went out to get half-priced Sonic shakes or went on random adventures up the canyon, we always have a good time and share some good laughs.
- I have learned that I have the gift of faith.
- I have learned that I have potential.
- I have learned that God's plan for me is bigger than I imagined for myself.
- I am still learning patience.
I sometimes wish that I could just skip ahead a year and know my future right now. Wouldn't that be great? No more questions. It sure would make patience easy. But, if I wasn't walking in the dark right now, than I would not have the opportunity to rely on God each step of the way and develop faith, patience, and whatever other attributes the Lord is currently pushing me to acquire. I don't currently understand everything but it's ok. I believe what Elder Scott said:
"If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit and for that of those you love."
The end of the summer has not marked the end of my trials nor does it mean that I am now all knowing. No way. I am still in the middle of some of them and I am sure that there are many more to come because that's life. I still have so much to learn. And I think God has realized that and that is why He has sped up the learning process for me these past few months. I don't want to be prideful and say: "Bring it!" I'm not yet that great that I want to pray for more trials, but I will say "thanks" for the ground I have already gained on this bumpy road.
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